You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
