me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
