Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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