Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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