If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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