I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize