All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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