It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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