Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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