she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
