guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
