I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
