I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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