walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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