I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
one might say we're banned from that church
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
