but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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