Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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