cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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