Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
