HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
