PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
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Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
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I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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