why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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