loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
