I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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