All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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