I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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