I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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