Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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