i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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