Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
