Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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