I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
