Your face is a jimmy john
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Betty ford says i'm here all night
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
