The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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