kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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