Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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