After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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