Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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