Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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