I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
