i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
