for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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