how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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