Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
