the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
