Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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