nutella sex= disaster
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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