Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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