Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
