Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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