Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
