we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
