Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
