If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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