im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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