I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize