I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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