I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
