Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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