Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
