it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
