I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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