what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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