We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Your tits are I can't wait for
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
