I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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