so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
last night I used snow as a chaser
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
