one might say we're banned from that church
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
