She said her name was "party"
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
