They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
